I was raised to stay silent. Here's how I found my voice after 30.

Growing up, I thought being "the good daughter" meant never rocking the boat, never questioning authority, and never showing pain. I became skilled at smiling when I wanted to cry and say "I'm fine" when I was anything but fine.

When you grow up in a narcissistic or emotionally neglectful home, the rules are unspoken but deeply ingrained.

• Your needs are an inconvenience

• Your voice is too loud

• Your feelings are an overreaction

You learn to shrink. You learn to adapt to other people's moods like it's your survival, because in many ways it is.

I didn't know it at the time, but I was slowly disappearing in my own life. Making those changes are important if you were raised to stay silent.

The Weight of Disappearing

for years, I thought being selfless was a virtue. I gave my energy, time and heart to others without considering whether it left anything for me. And every time I swallowed my truth to avoid conflict, I reinforced the idea that my needs didn't matter.

The hardest part? People praised me for it.

"you're so easy going"

"You're always there for everyone"

"You never cause drama."

But behind the smile was a woman who felt unseen, unheard and unimportant.

The Awakening

Something shifted in my early 30s. It wasn't one big moment, more like a series of small, sharp realisations.

• Feeling resentment after always saying yes

• Crying in the bathroom at work because I always felt so overlooked

• Feeling panic at the thought of saying "no" but knowing I had to.

The ache to finally show up for myself became impossible to ignore.

The Work of Finding my Voice

Healing wasn't glamorous. It was messy, uncomfortable, and painfully slow. It looked like:

• Therapy ~ Saying things out loud for the first time without fear or judgement.

• Journaling ~ Writing letters to my younger self who never got the protection she needed.

• Boundaries ~ Learning that "no" is a full sentence.

• Self-compassion ~ Replacing the voice of criticism with one of care.

And yes, there were nights when I cried after setting a boundary, wondering if I had done the wrong thing. But over time, those moments started to feel less like loss and more like liberation.

Who I Am Now

I'm not perfect, and I'm not "done" healing, but I'm no longer silent. I speak my truth, I take up space, and I trust my instincts I say "no" without apologising and "yes" without fear.

The woman I am today exists because I chose to stop abandoning myself.

If You're Still in the Silence

If you grew up in a home where your worth was conditional, your feelings were invalidated or your identity was shaped around keeping the peace, I want you to know this, You are allowed to come home to yourself.

Your story matters. Your voice matters. You matter.

That belief is why I started Rooted Radiance UK, a space for women ready to heal the wounds of the past, rebuild their self-worth, and step into their power.

You don't have to walk this journey alone.

Your voice is waiting for you.

🔗 Start your journey today